In the 1930s, F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a list of post-Thanksgiving “recipes” for that pesky leftover turkey. Among them:

Turkey Cocktail: “To one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demijohn of angostura bitters. Shake.”

Turkey Mouse: “Seed a large prone turkey, being careful to remove the bones, flesh, fins, gravy, etc. Blow up with a bicycle pump. Mount in becoming style and hang in the front hall.”

Turkey and Water: “Take one turkey and one pan of water. Heat the latter to the boiling point and then put it in the refrigerator. When it has jelled, drown the turkey in it. Eat. In preparing this recipe, it is best to have a few ham sandwiches on hand in case things go wrong.”